Weasley Word War
by Berde
Summary: It was like the standard sibling fights at the Burrow...BOOM! it started. and BOOM! it ended..do read! and review.. :p


**Weasley Word War**

by _Berde_

**DISCLAIMER:**

I do not own the Harry Potter series, and we all know who does—JKR!!! Blah blah blah..no suing!

It was like the standard sibling fights at the Burrow where no one knew why, how, or who started. Where it would kick off from the rolling of eyes, raising of noses in the air, shaking heads wincingly, or silent smirking. Suddenly, _boom!_ They were already at a heat of exchange of words, while one, two, or all of them would eventually be sporting ginger faces that were match to their well-known hairs.

No signs at all.

"Mum. Ginny has a boyfriend." Ron said casually, as if he was informing their mother that the sky was blue.

Everybody stopped. From the father who was keenly inspecting a suspicious looking muggle artifact he had confiscated the night before, two elder brothers playing chess, third brother scribbling notes on a parchment, and twins whose heads were joined together as if scientists working on a new invention. Two visitors as well, of a boy of black and unruly hair in round glasses polishing his broom, and a girl of brown and bushy head drawn with her favorite book. And down to the mother who was cutting potatoes on the table. They halted, all wide-eyed and staring at the youngest and only girl among the kids.

She was shocked herself, but too fuming to delay her riposte. "I do not!" bellowed her indignantly, piercing a look at her brother's direction.

He flinched, afterward realized the war had just begun. An impish smile crossed his lips. "Well, not anymore. But she did Mum." He added, wanting more than surprised looks his first statement sent her way.

It took a few moments before Molly Weasley absorbed the thought for Ron to have the reaction he desired. The mistress of the house gave a narrowed and utterly scandalized look. "Ginevra Weasley! Is this true?" she demanded.

"Mum..." The girl pleaded, willing herself not to cry against her cracked voice.

"Absolutely, Mum." But the boy quickly added in a tone akin to a public prosecutor of no one in particular. He was enjoying seeing her as if on trial, not minding his essay homework that was lying forgotten on the table.

"Ron, honestly." her voice sounded agitated; tired of his childishness. It was uncomfortable, on top, with all eight pairs of eyes gazing at her already tomato-colored face.

But her antagonist was not to stop. "Michael Corner." He declared louder, "A year older than us, Harry, Hermione, and me. Ravenclaw guy. She met him at the Yule Ball and they got together by the end of the year. You could ask Harry or Hermione about that if you don't believe me. Bet they won't lie to you." saying all these a bit more rapidly than usual, Ron pressed on.

The judge on court turned around to who appeared to be the witnesses, "Harry? Hermione?" she queried on the highest pitch only to receive confounded looks from them.

"Molly, calm down." her partner called. He has other ways of resolving matters.

She knew his other ways. He'd probably tell that their baby girl was already grown up, and responsible enough to handle relationships of sort. That was what he said when their first three boys had admitted on having girlfriends.

She only hissed in disbelief, "Arthur!"

A disgusted look played on her face. How could he disregard the fact that Ginny wasn't a boy like her brothers. She could be old enough, but boys will be boys, who no matter what they do, one way or another, could make things end up hurting the girls they claim to love. Had her husband forgotten how their boys already made couple of girls cry, how they had scolded them for that? Was he not afraid that his only girl could suffer heartache at much an early age, when she could still play outside their house?

"I know what you're thinking. I'm just asking you to calm down." he assured. Although, he still seemed to be preoccupied with a pestle sized object on his hand, moving it around scrutinizing every angles.

"That bloke?!" chorused their twins. Moreover, this only made both the mother and daughter worry more.

The Michael _What's-His-Name_ was at Hogwarts, and no one could better judge him but those who were at Hogwarts as well. And they're calling him a bloke.

Seeing her mother's brow meet at the top of her nose, Ginny decided to end, what for her was nothing but a stupid matter. "Well, he's not anymore!" she stomped one foot indignantly on the ground to get the attention.

The old man on the corner startled with this and he accidentally pushed a button on the rod-like thing he was clutching, causing one end of it to emit a large bright orange light. "Omph..Ugh.." he struggled as if the object was fighting back.

"Growing a little too fast, are you Ginny?" It was Charlie recovering from his sister's sudden outburst, yet, obviously, not taking the subject too seriously.

"Why did you break up?" queried a concerned voice of Percy's, whom she somehow knew would ask such question as if it was a topic too grave to give up. He was concerned, _bless him_, but he didn't really have to add more to the commotion that was already happening.

Bill's overly protective brother image resurrected somewhere from their past—when they were still kids and some playmates would bully her. "Did he cheat on you? Want us to get back on him?"

Ginny was touched, she couldn't deny, as she let a faint smile show.

It was a long awkward pause with orange light dancing around the room.

"Bill, Charlie!" her mother reprimanded in delay. From the look of her, Ginny can tell that she got caught up with Percy's question.

Arthur startled again when his wife shot him a warning look. He finally restrained the evil device on his hand and rested it on the table, the end that releases the light facedown. He straightened and cleared his throat before participating on the conversation as if he had always have since the start, "Well, who is this guy anyway, Ginny?" but failing as he was lost on the direction of the subject.

"I thought you fancy Harry?" now Fred had done it! And George and Ron who snorted so loudly. She could have gone redder if it would still be possible with her totally flushed face.

Harry's head quickly turned to look at her, but noticing that it made her, and him, uncomfortable, he quickly focused to something that had instantly turned very interesting at the tip of his _Firebolt_.

Feeling that she never had, or would ever be more humiliated than at that moment, a tack developed on Ginny's head. _Drive the attention away from her_. And to who? _The first person she would see_, "I...Mum…" she was hesitant as her eyes fell on one of her brothers, "Charlie has a girlfriend back in Romania" the words almost tumbled with each other, as everyone's head moved to her sorry victim.

Mrs. Weasley didn't let a second pass. "Charlie?!"

The familiar pink color crept to the tip of the dragon breeder's ears "Not yet a girlfriend, Mum. But I sure hope so soon." he said quite truthfully.

"Who is this girl now, Charlie?" asked Mr. Weasley, back on track.

He grinned, and ran his hand on his messy Weasley hair. "Isabella Elesere. Mentioned her, once, twice. But you don't know her, so why not talk about…" his eyes wandered around the room, "…Angelina Johnson." He gleamed, "I heard she and Fred has something…" Charlie has successfully picked up the scheme from Ginny.

"Fred?!" her kids in serious relationships seemed to be getting to something that's too much to handle for Molly.

The twin on hot seat beamed. "Oh, Yeah." he said too casually, "Geroge's going out with Alicia, Mum." he patted his twin's shoulder as if to apologize for passing a burden to him.

George didn't mind. He was rather used to it. Imitating his twin's laid-back response, he said "Thank you very much." and added before their mother could even breathe for another word, "Mum…". The word alone already held Molly's pending explosion. George impeded for a dramatic silence before he finally continued, "Percy's planning to propose to Penny by the end of the year." His eyes were glittering in the vein of their mother's when she would tell them for thousandth times about how their dad proposed to her for marriage.

Then, the bellow of the other Weasley's name echoed through the room. It wasn't only Molly's voice, as Arthur was equally horrified. "Percival Ignatius?!"

The rest of the crowd was just as surprised. Boys were grinning liked mad whilst the girls jumped with delight.

"Are you really?" asked Hermione, eyes dancing with the thought of Penelope on wedding gown and Percy waiting by the altar.

Ginny had forgotten she was mad and affronted just a while ago, "Wow!" she shrieked, even exchanged glorious beam with Ron.

George guffawed triumphantly at Percy's reaction. As he fell on the ground, Fred only saw the more comical side of his twin's stunt. "Oh, leave him alone." He yelled to everyone except the only person having a fit. "We all know he's too busy with his Ministry works to notice girls." He teased and started to have hysterics himself.

Percy cleared his throat, as if for an important announcement. It did make everyone stop to listen. "Penny and I are constantly owling each other, though we barely have time to meet or snog like _some spell breaker_ and his _English student_ I walked into…what day was it?" he turned to the eldest among the brood and nodded in a manner of a boss administering a meeting. "Bill?" his business-like tone kept even. All Weasleys would definitely know how to play along, even Percy.

"Snogging with who?" Mrs. Weasley was more scandalized, and Mr. Weasley looked more horrified than ever.

Charlie innocently and curiously asked, "Isn't it Fleaur Delacour that you're giving English lessons to, Bill?"

"Bill!" their parents cried. No one else moved, waiting for Bill's reply.

That was clearly more interesting than the previous revelations. Percy received a lot of approving nods and grins. The kids won't let neither from the two grown-ups spoil a conversation as such.

"You have a girlfriend and we don't even know?" Arthur Weasley tried his calm approach. What he calls, _'I'm not your father, but your friend'_ approach.

Molly Weasley waited for the answer, although impatiently, since the taps of her feet became louder and louder every second; tears were welling up her eyes. She was already overwhelmed with emotions that had been changing every minute. She gave her son an accusing look as if saying _'You're keeping secrets now...disregarding your Mum now_'.

Noticing this, Bill walked to her and put his arms around her shoulder, "She's not my girlfriend, Mum...I think." he bowed, as he was so tall, to kiss her on the cheek.

It was supposed to calm her, but it didn't work. "That makes it worse, Weasley. Kissing someone who is not you're girlfriend at all." She harangued.

"Well…I dunno...I didn't mean to, Mum. It just happened." he replied absently.

"Just what?!" and he wished he didn't reply at all.

"Oh. Yeah. She's a _veela_, you know." Ron came about. If he was trying to help Bill or not, no one could tell. He looked like he was enjoying Bill's shaken look from their mother's uproar.

"A what?!" she repeated, but was eyeing at Ron. Who now wished he didn't speak at all.

"You haven't gone kissing him, have you Ron?" Arthur queried, as if trying to remember something.

Ron replied a little too quickly on this, "No."

But Ginny smelled revenge "She gave him one though. Remember the second task?" Fleur did kiss him and Harry during their fourth year, when they saved Fleur's sister at the lake.

"A _veela_ kissed you?" Arthur asked again, sounding not too troubled but more interested. He felt his wife eyeing him incredulously. Having felt this, Arthur didn't dare turn face her anymore.

"He gave Harry two!" Ginny squeaked excitedly, not realizing she was making another awkward moment.

"Not jealous, are you Ginny? Thought you outgrew your crush on Harry?" Fred didn't let the opportunity to tease pass.

And she went on with her gambit. _There. The first person she saw_. "Er—Mum, before George went out with Alicia, he asked Katie first."

It wasn't as grand for a news, but it did alter attentions. Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn't know that, considering they were at the same school house. They were surprised. Everyone was surprised, anyway, except for Ginny and Fred. Even, surprised seemed to be the word and action of the day.

"Who else on the Gryffindor _Quidditch_ team, George?" Ron finally managed a taunt.

"Thank you again. And I really find the whole Bill-_Veela_ thing more interesting."

George always knew the ways to get away effortlessly.

"Right." Mrs. Weasley suddenly remembered and looked up at Bill, "…can't you even help it? You can't just kiss a girl because she's a _veela_. You're a spell breaker, and…"

He cut him off, playful smile dancing across his face. "Don't worry, Mum. Don't reckon she found it rude of me. Think she might've enjoyed it more than I did." he was bright red now.

"Bill!" the voice of the parents blended so well like the twins'.

"That's not a very good example to set to your brothers!" Their mother protested once more, pulling away from his arms over her shoulder.

"Come now, Mum, Dad. Kissing a girl is better example than shouting at them. At least _I_ don't nag Fleur for being friends with _Viktor Krum_. Don't I Ron?" Bill has completely had enough. When he saw the youngest Weasley boy, he realized that one hasn't got his share of spotlight, and to think, he was responsible for having started it all.

The sixth Weasley was clearly caught off-guard as he stuttered, not prepared on his defense. "Wha—Wha—I—I--"

"Whose nagging?" demanded Mrs. Weasley.

"Ron is, Mum. He shouts at Hermione for owling Krum. He's bad at her, you know. Ron always makes Hermione cry. And...and..." A strong word, why couldn't Ginny think of a strong word just then?! "He's really terrible..." It was getting even. It was fun.

As usual, George always has a say on everything "Yeah. I remember they were shouting at each other after the Yule Ball."

"You heard that?" Hermione gasped, turning pink on the cheeks.

"Oh, no...the whole Gryffindor did." George answered sarcastically, enjoying the look on his brother and their other visitor.

Fred came in with the best innocent face he could pull on, "Yeah...But was that a fight?"

"That was, Fred." His twin played along. "Sweet fight, though." He gave the impression of a mother pointing out what was obvious to a child.

The other twin's face shone dreamily, "I do hope Ron got _that_ on his head." he said, talking to his identical but making sure everyone would hear.

"What _that_?" Ron snapped, acquiring the same scarlet color Ginny was fashioning a while ago.

The twins chorused mocking girl-giggles. "'Before someone else does…"

Ron and Hermione were both blushing furiously, and only Harry, Ginny, and the twins could enjoy the scene.

Finally absorbing the issue, Mrs. Weasley raised, "Ronald Bilius, you're fighting with Hermione?"

"Mum..." Ron began helplessly, but he was cut off.

"—just because she's being friendly?"

"Vicky…" he tried to reason out.

"And he's calling him names...how rude." Fred declared most disapprovingly, then scoffing behind his long hair.

"Makes Hermione so upset, doesn't it, Hermione?" George added.

"Er--" Ron, speechless.

"Ron, I didn't bring you up to be rude especially with your friends. Apologize to her now!" she was on a lecture now.

Fred said in a half-pleading half-joking tone. "Mum. But let's not be too hard on Ron. I understand him."

"Well...I do too, Mum." agreed his twin.

Ron looked only more apprehensive on this. Someone had to warn Hermione to prepare for the coming harassment. Now he was regretting sneaking at Ginny's room and going through some of her personal things lying vulnerably on her study table.

The joke continued in spite of his repentance. "Hard to believe, but, I guess I do understand Ron after all." Bill joined.

_What was Ron supposed to do? Curiosity only ruled him, besides, it was just one letter he picked up to read. He haven't even unfolded it when Ginny entered the room._

"Yeah. We could get really jealous. Weasley blood, right Dad?" Charlie said, enjoying Ron's glowing face.

_And she wouldn't let him explain. What more, there was a new letter on her hand and she shove it behind her as if it's a top secret or something._

"Yeah. Mum's telling us stories when you'd fight then because some other guy's smitten with her." of course, Ginny had to join.

_What if it's another one from Michael Corner? If not, then who is it from? Did she really mean what she told him about liking Dean Thomas? _

"I'm not smitten---" Ron tried a retort to no avail.

Percy added, losing the business-like sound but having the psychologist impression instead. "See. That's what Ron is is going through…" he deduced.

_He was just protecting Ginny and she had to be a total brat! Why did she even stop liking Harry? If there's anyone to be his sister's boyfriend that he would okay to, it would only be his best mate!_

"Great." _Brat. _Ron thought. "Mum, after Michael Corner, Ginny likes Dean Thomas!" He threw the maneuver back at the one who thought of it. If he can't get Ginny to confess, maybe their mother would.

"Dean Thomas?" Mrs. Weasley asked rather unsure.

"I don't, Mum." Ginny went back to her rosy shade.

Seemed an honest answer. But there was another prospect Ron had in mind. "...and I think Neville's crushing on her."

"Neville Longbottom?" This time Mr. Weasley reacted. Of all the boys mentioned concerning his only daughter, it was only Neville who he knew more about.

"Ginny, what's this about being linked to guys Ron's year?" Fred and George apparently enjoy teasing whoever is on the limelight.

The youngest Weasley stomped once more, tears more visible on her eyes. "Oh, stop it! I was just joking about Dean, and Neville's not crushing on me!" Why did she have to have such childish brothers?

Ron informed her matter-of-factly, as if she never realized what she did. "You went with him at the Yule Ball."

"Because I wanted to go but third years were not allowed unless someone who is invites them. And he asked me, so I went." She retorted.

"He asked you, anyway."

"Because Hermione--_aha_!" He got Ron now. He'll pay! "I know what this is about! Not just jealous of Viktor are you Ron? Now you're making Neville look bad because he spotted Hermione before you did! Too bad, Viktor spotted her first!"

He couldn't believe her! Why do girls always miss his point? And they always side on _Vicky 'bloody' Krum_?! "Really? What could be so bad about Neville if he should have a crush on you?" Pretending not to have heard her, he went on.

Which was not so helpful move, because she really got him. "I'll tell you what! So Mum or Dad, or anyone could tell me to shove him off then he wouldn't be able to ask me things about Hermione." She accidentally spilled.

At the sound of her name, Hermione couldn't help inquiring, "Neville's asking you what?"

Ginny faced her, an apologetic look she gave her for bringing her name up. "Well, Yeah. I think he kinda fancies you. He asks a lot about you."

"Like what?" Harry asked vaguely.

"Er—Well—not that much anyway." she hesitated at Harry's voice.

"Like--?" Hermione encouraged her.

The rest of the family were gradually drawn to the whole _Ron-Hermione-Someone else_ issue. All were listening intently; half were only waiting for new clause for amusement. Ron himself, was waiting sulkily on what his school friend been asking about his so-called best friend.

"If, well..." Ginny knew Hermione wouldn't give the topic up, so she'd rather be honest. "…if you and Viktor are together…stuffs like that." and not too detailed if she could help it.

"And, are they?" Ron asked crossly.

"I won't answer that for you." she rolled her eyes on him.

"Fine!" He turned to Hermione instead "So, are you?"

"What do you care? You're not smitten with her, aren't you?" Ginny mocked his earlier tone of sarcasm.

"I—We have the right to know that, right Harry?" he justified himself, while prodding Harry to back him up.

"Er--" his other best friend only shrugged, not wanting to be put in the middle of a probable Ron-Hermione row. He had much already.

"And why's that?" Ginny continued.

"Because we're bestfriends?!" Ron exclaimed as if it was very obvious question.

"Viktor's just my friend." Hermione saved the two from fighting, as she muttered.

"And if Neville—would you--" he stammered.

Ginny cut him off, "Don't panic, Ron. Neville's interested with Loony too. I think he might have been more curious about her by the end of last term than he was with Hermione."

"Luna Lovegood?" That was news for her brother.

"No. Professor Lupin, who else?" she replied in a hoity-toity tone.

"Oh. Isn't that good news Ron?" George mocked.

The youngest Weasley continued, enjoying the sight of Ron's abruptly changing reactions. Now he looked confused. Later, he would look something else. "Makes you and Neville alike, actually. You're jealous of him because of Hermione, and he's probably jealous of you because Luna seemed so amused on you...Though, I can't see a reason why."

"Luna's what?" He asked doubtful.

"You caught someone's eye? Ickle Ronniekins--"

"Eat slugs Fred!" hissed Ron, and something else he told his brother to do that made their parents jump in shock.

"Ronald!" they bellowed.

"Not enjoying anymore, Ron? Tell you what, some eye-catching git you've become lately, alright! Padma Patil, even if you'd been a bad date, Mandy Brocklehurst, Eloise Midgen, Susan Bones...some fourth and third years, and who else know...they all think you're-- "

"Drop it Ginny! You're making that up!"

"I never knew Parvati and Lavender for making stories up. Overheard them one night. And what's the matter, anyway? You should be grateful you're not hopeless."

He protested at the last word. "Hopeless?!"

"On second thought, you might be. A lot of girls seem to be fond of you, and yet, the girl you like, the girl on your nose--"

"Hopeless am I? Yeah. Just like you, I reckon. A lot of guys seem to fancy you, and yet, the boy who lived--" Oops. He didn't mean that one. She was just getting to his nerves, Ginny was.

"You started this!" She went crimson, then purple, then pale…

He looked stern, "And I'll end it."

"Let's see you--" One of the twins would have wanted to challenge their youngest brother…and they wanted the brawl to extend a bit more. The sight of Ron changing faces and Ginny changing colors were not that new to them. But what they were anticipating for was what's going to happen after that.

They wouldn't get it though. "Now." Ron and Ginny said in unison and went back to whatever it was they were doing, both retarded to speak…as if nothing happened.

It was like the standard sibling fights at the Burrow where no one knew why, how, or who ended. Where it would conclude to rolling of eyes, raising of noses in the air, shaking heads wincingly, or deafening silence. Suddenly, _boom!_ They were already done exchanging words, while one, two, or all of them would eventually be sporting confused faces that were match with their equally well-known scattered freckles.

"Er—by the way, Harry, Hermione…" Mr. Weasley broke the long stillness, "…can you tell me, exactly, what this is?" he held the piece high, and the bright light shot across the room once more.

"It's a _flashlight_, Mr. Weasley." Answered Harry, and the rest of the afternoon, he and Hermione explained to the eldest red-head everything about the artifact at hand.

**AUTHOR's NOTE:**

Not much. Er…I dunno why I should compare the word _confused_ with _freckles_…LOL…say, it's because they're scattered and they don't have a pattern, or such…and…well…sod it!

My first attempt for a humor. I hope it was funny enough for a good laugh. And for reviews also…pretty please. .;


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